The turbulence we experience when we lose our last parent caught Lise Funderburg’s attention. In The Last Goodbye (Time 11/13/00) she dug under the rocky soil of pain and sadness to reach a bedrock issue: you’ve lost the last person who provided the family structure and purveyed the family history.

This new stage of life brings challenges for which adult orphans are not prepared. Now we stand on this earth blinking directly into the fierce light of our mortality. Highly emotional decisions about how to move forward paralyze us.  We may be surprised when we find that an anticipated inheritance produces more anxiety than delight. What is an heirloom to be treasured? What is trash to be sorted, gifted, donated or tossed? What if you make a mistake?

Case in point: Mom kept every appliance she ever owned far beyond its useful life. I tossed lots of cool looking stuff that had exceeded its shelf life, but I kept my mother’s vintage typewriter. I let the kids bang on it like a toy and sure enough, they broke it.  I didn’t think I cared. Then I saw a television special on the Mesa Typewriter Exchange and I thought again.

In Mesa, AZ Bill Wahl lovingly restores antique instruments of the written word. No computer has curves like a typewriter or produces such a satisfying tap tappity tap sound. While he wrote out my repair claim check I glimpsed my mother seated at a table in the corner.  She was typing up a recipe, or a letter to the editor or a long reply to her cousin. At that moment I realized my typewriter was an heirloom that connected me to generations of women who wrote.

Choose your heirlooms, or let them choose you. They will be the stories you tell your grandchildren.